Yearning

This is killing me
Not having the courage to tell you
A dying star in my chest
Threatening to collapse
And suck me up
Never to be seen again

What will happen when I tell you
What will happen if I manage to tell you at all?

I don’t know if you see me that way
I don’t know if you can
I don’t know if you will

And even if we do get together
Who knows how long we’ll last

Should I take your advice
To enjoy things while they last
Even if they won’t last for long?

If I do
There’s still the problem
Of me not being able to ask you out
As much as I want to
I can’t cross that barrier

What if this ruins our friendship?
What if this makes things awkward?

What if we can never look at each other the same way?
What if
You say no

I don’t want that to happen
I don’t want things to change for the worse
But I feel like if I don’t
If I keep hiding this from you
I’ll lose myself in these feelings
A sea of emotions
Uncharted and deadly
Ready to swallow me up whole
Never to be seen again

I know I’m being dramatic right now
My feelings won’t be this messed up later
But who’s to say I won’t feel like this again
And again
And

I want to stop the cycle before it starts
But I can’t bring myself to tell you that I like you
So this
Is the best I can do for now

At least, until someone convinces me to tell you the truth

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